...For The Ride Home: Mariotti's recent troubles discussed on television, Demi Moore dances and your obligatory "'Modern Family' is great" piece

"It's the perfect song. A good drum intro. Great groove. And the lyrics are even a little bit romantic." That's what my dad said over the weekend as we revisited this band and a bootleg we made of them when we once saw them, what now seems like decades ago. Oh, how we miss you, The Urge. For those who like horns, reggae-ish music, funkiness, a little bit of soul and a lotta bit of a great voice, check them out. Way too bad they gave it up. So, hello to you, our dear, dear friends who are always here for support. It's the final day of August and that's bizarre. September is a mere few hours away and the end of summer 2010 is upon us. Big weekend coming up, and I only recently realized how many things I need to get done within the next, oh, say, like 36 hours. And it's because of that, that I will keep this introduction short. From the bottom of our hearts, we sincerely hope you enjoy the final day of (supposedly) the warmest month of the year, and we will see you back here, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, tomorrow morning. Remember: Always be respectful to others.

“Around The Horn” talked about the Mariotti business. Interesting. (The Big Lead)

Bob Bradley had his contract extended last night. Yes, that will be tomorrow’s post. (Boston Globe)

The New York Times and using the F-word. (New Yorker)

Mike Wise gets suspended for a month from the Washington Post for claiming Big Ben’s suspension was reduced to five games. On Twitter. (Pro Football Talk)

Something that is often looked over, but never should be: A newspaper is now going to recognize same-sex marriages in its wedding announcements. (Editor And Publisher)

It’s just sort of funny. Demi Moore dances like she’s 22 and out after finals week. (TMZ)

Green Day is going to release a live album. People still like them, right? (Alternative Press)

Because I couldn’t really elaborate how happy I was with “Modern Family" and the Emmys yesterday. Check this out. (New York Times)

...For The Ride Home: Spencer is now a director, Pippen enters the Hall this weekend and Snooki wants to own Snooki

We send off the nice, round number of Week 20 with a cool, calm and collected Jack Johnson and a performance of the fabulous "Flake." And it's even on the now-obscurely-old-and-longtime-canceled talk show hosted by now-annoyingly-famous Zack Galifianakis, to boot! I watched "The Kite Runner" last night, and after a midnight run and rewrites on stories I'm working on, it was a nice way to wind down my evening, or, well, my late-night. I cried twice. Again, much like my reaction to "Outsourced," it delights me tremendously to find that I bought a movie I actually enjoy. That's two for two now in the "buying movies I've never known anything about that turn out not bad" category. Word is this was a book. Can anyone out there either confirm or deny such an allegation? If so, is the book any good? Tonight seems to be a "Crazy Heart" kind of night, though we shall see how that works out. As for the rest of the weekend, well there a few things bolstered down, though it seems as though it may rain through the days. Rain, something I love. What are your plans? Going to see a movie? Maybe be by a beach? Date nights? Come on, now. There ought to be something wonderful in your sights. If not, I suggest sitting in front of a television that won't be consumed with football for one of the last times the next six months will allow. Still don't like that? OK. How about you check out the Premier League's kickoff weekend. That's sure to not disappoint, though you admittedly would have to wake in the early hours of the morning on a Saturday. Promise it would be worth it, though. Honestly. Before you find yourself encompassed in any of that, we offer the below links for you to ponder before diving into a middle-of-August weekend. Treat others well, and please don't forget my dear, dear friends, love you, miss you.

Woke up to find Bob Bradley out as the U.S. men’s soccer coach (I believe I had that one). Only to find that he’s not out and talks are on-going. The saga continues. (Washington Post)

Spencer from “The Hills” is directing a movie. Insert “reality television isn’t real” comment here. (Twitter)

How great is this? PBS ombudsman wants to “grab a beer and hit the escape chute” after seeing some PBS programming. (PBS)

“Warning: Medical claims in this article have not been confirmed by peer-review research.” You NEED to check these out. Funny with a capital "Unny." (Tom Scott)

Thirty-five percent less was spent on press travel for White House coverage this year. That just seems like so much, doesn’t it? What were they doing before? Bringing entire families on the road with them? (Media Matters)

Ellen is going to be on “So You Think You Can Dance.” Well, that’s good. (Dimewars)

In the wake of Scottie Pippen entering the basketball Hall of Fame this weekend, here are 10 current day players who would most likely be Mike’s sidekick these days. (Bleacher Report)

Ut oh. The “Twilight” kids are at it again. (People)

Snooki wants “Snooki” trademarked. In it’s response, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office said no. And your show sucks. (USA Today)

Kovalchuk deal shows a major chink in the NHL's armor

First things first – a hearty welcome back is in order for my blogging-better half. Oh how we’ve missed his witty repartee and essential Ride Home links… He’s going to read this and think I’m being mean-spirited and sarcastic, but I assure you, friends, nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, since his arrival a few days ago, I have not heard from him in any way, shape or form, which has been upsetting for me. I suppose in due time. Maybe he’ll post a comment today.

☺

On to the matter at hand: I’ve used several thousand words on this very blog to express my criticisms of aspects of various sports (most notably football), but I have given the National Hockey League a pass so far.

As I’ve noted before, the NHL is my favorite professional sporting league; however, there’s one thing that, to borrow a line from Peter Griffin, really grinds my gears – the ridiculously lengthy contracts that are doled out like those cheesy biscuits at Red Lobster (I’m hungry).

Case in point is the New Jersey Devils’ signing of Ilya Kovalchuk. At 27 years old, Kovalchuk just inked a 17-year, $102 million deal… so if my simple math is correct, that would make him a Devil until after his 44th birthday. Unless Kovalchuk somehow has the same tenacity, vigor and mental illness of Mark Recchi (who I think is still looking for a team to sign him at the ripe age of 48), then something is just wrong with this picture.

Why even bring a deal like this to the table? I realize this contract will in all likelihood never be fully carried out – and yes, I know people will say “who cares” for that reason alone – but at what point is hockey making itself the butt of a joke with these contracts?

For a sport like hockey that is fighting tooth and nail to reaffirm its spot as a top sport in the U.S., laughable stories such as these are detrimental to the image of the league. Part of the allure of the game is that its players are not like the A-Rods, Roethlisbergers and Kobes – and by them I mean spoiled rich kids.

According to CapGeek.com (and as reported by NHL Blogger Adam Gretz), in addition to Kovalchuk, here are some of the longest NHL contracts in the last decade:

Rick Dipietro (Islanders): 15 years, $67.5 million
Alex Ovechkin (Capitals): 13 years, $123.5 million
Henrik Zetterberg (Red Wings): 12 years, $73 million
Vincent Lecavalier (Lightning): 11 years, $84.7 million
Marian Hossa (Blackhawks): 12 years, $62.4 million
Roberto Luongo (Canucks): 12 years, $64 million
Johan Franzen (Red Wings): 11 years, $43 million

Of these players, the average age at the start of the contract was 27. The average age by the end of these contacts is about 39 and some change. A bit much in my humble opinion. Perhaps it’s time Commissioner Gary Bettman considers a maximum contract length rule… unless he prefers to have his contemporaries snickering behind his back.

Snickering… I told you I was hungry. Go enjoy some lunch and check back in at 4 p.m. for your Ride Home links. Love as always.

...For The Ride Home: A funny writer says funny things, Mike weighs in on LeBron and Soul Week kicks off!

Good news! Week 17 is going to be our second themed week! Two exclamation points means business. For those of you who may remember, we first did such a thing here at The Ride back in April, when the showcased a video featuring the lovely Norah Jones each day. This time, and because no, I will not share the gamillions of stories I came by during my week away from you, the always-loved reader, we offer Soul Week, a week dedicated to soul music. Each day's Ride will contain a video that features various artists rooted in what everyone who knows me knows is my favorite kind of music: Soul music. This begins to today with (by my calculations) the fifth greatest song to ever be written and recorded in all of music (rock, pop, country, hip-hop, polka, etc.), Johnnie Taylor's "Who's Makin' Love." If only more videos of these artists existed, I would post live versions of these songs much like we did with Ms. Jones. But alas, such things are few and far between. Soooooo, with that behind us, how are you? How have you been? Did you miss me? Yeah, I didn't quite think you did. My friends always tell me how I should take vacations and how much I deserve/need them, but I don't think I've ever invested in that notion until now. It was so nice to press the reset button, make 5,000 memories, remove myself from the entire world (and this, I learned, also provided me with the time I most enjoyed not having a cellular phone), and stumble upon some of those rare slices of life you can only be so lucky to encounter every now and then. Goodness. Listen to me. I sound like a Christmas card. In any case, it's good to be back, and as July continues to fly by on this muggy Monday, take some time to check out a few links, enjoy the first installment of Soul Week and watch the season premiere of "Mad Men" again. Be nice.

Yes, sir. Michael Jordan says LeBron is stupid for playing in Miami with the overrated Chris Bosh, the bound-to-be-underutilized Dwayne Wade and Mr. James’ personal butler, Big Z. Have to love Mike. (New York Post)

Twenty questions with Gene Weingarten. If you care at all about newspapers or feature/humor writing in general, you really ought to check this out. Funny: “Q: You feel best in Armani or Levis or? A: Natalie Portman.” (Popmatters)

Geeky, but I have to offer it up. A list of winners for this year’s Alt Weekly awards. (Alt Weeklies)

Wasn’t able to get back in time last night to check out the first episode of this season so no spoilers please. That said, this guy talks about revealing too much when writing about the best show AMC will ever see. (Variety)

There was only one thing news story that leaked into my peripheral while I was gone and it was completely by accident. Here’s a discussion concerning the idea of George Steinbrenner being in baseball’s Hall of Fame. Think what you want about him, but I came across a priceless quote he once offered: “If you do something nice for someone, and more than two individuals know about it, then it wasn’t worth it.” (The Big Lead)

Tiger’s former mistress is going to be on the next installment of “Celebrity Rehab.” So, what’s the definition of celebrity again? (ABC News)

Glenn Beck is going blind. This one’s too easy. (Kansas City.com)

Comic Con begins this week. I only know what Comic Con is because of “Entourage.” Victory! (Washington Post)

Because I was gone and couldn’t link it then. Jason Whitlock’s take on LeBenedict. Dude got booed at the ESPYs? (Fox Sports)

Picky eating = new eating disorder?

An interesting story popped up on my RSS feed the other day, and although I fought the inclination to post about it right away, I can’t fight this feeling anymore (oh yes, I just said that).

The story was about how the University of Pittsburgh and Duke University launched the first national registry of picky eating in adults – and some researchers are thinking about considering it an officially recognized eating disorder.

Yes, you read that correctly, picky eating may become an OFFICIAL eating disorder in the same vein as anorexia and bulimia.

The premise of the argument stems from the idea that these picky peoples’ eating habits prevent them from getting all the necessary nutrients one needs to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and thus are at a disadvantage. Ok, fair enough. But do we really need an officially classified disorder to give people yet another excuse to engage in unhealthy behavior?

If you hate the taste of carrots and broccoli, that’s your preference and you’ll probably develop some vitamin deficiency. If you avoid a party with friends because you know the host makes weird, outlandish food when she entertains, that’s your prerogative and you’ll maybe lose a friend or have someone think you’re strange. Why must it be a disorder all of the sudden?

I can’t stomach asparagus or uncooked tomatoes – maybe I need to see a psychiatrist. My wife hates all seafood for the most part – maybe she needs to take a pill. Is that a stretch in the not so distant future?

My beef (hehe) is this: at some point someone needs to draw the line between disorders/addictions and weaknesses/shortcomings.

I am nothing special – let me say that first. I do not consider myself to be any healthier, smarter or more socially adept than anyone else. However, the following statements are true…

I understand that eating nothing but red meat and fried food can be detrimental to my physical health. I CHOOSE to try to avoid fast food and eat healthy. I understand that gambling can get me in trouble financially and possibly legally. I CHOOSE to not gamble very often. I understand that cheating on my wife has many ramifications. I CHOOSE to be faithful.

But the guy next door can say his heart attack and extreme obesity was caused by his picky eating disorder, his house was foreclosed because of his gambling compulsion and his wife left him over his sex addiction that made him cheat on her with multiple women.

NO – you made poor decisions and succumbed to weaknesses that millions of people fight everyday.

I don’t know how anyone else feels about this, but I say we chill out with making everything official. Maybe some people just make “officially” poor decisions sometimes. Maybe some of us are “officially” bad people.



All right, enough ranting and raving for one day. Give me your thoughts, if you have some – and I know you do, you wonderfully intelligent, opinionated readers you. ;)

See you on Monday, when we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled, twice a day programming. Please try to contain your excitement. Xoxoxoxo

This show will be the "Downfall" of us all

Tuesday evening I was looking for something to watch as I wound down (winded?) for the night. I remembered earlier in the day hearing a local DJ interviewing the host of a new game show on ABC called “Downfall” – and that host was none other than Professional Wrestling Superst-ar/Entertainment Mogul/Canadian Export Chris Jericho.

Obviously I had to check it out, but unfortunately I missed the first half of the show. When I finally tuned in I was in for quite a shock. Here’s the lowdown:

Contestants dressed in ridiculous tan jumpsuits are strapped to a bungee cord on the top of a ten-story building. Super-host Jericho asks them trivia questions in certain categories that they have to answer as quick as possible. The reason for the rapid responses is because the prizes are on a conveyor belt that sends them off the top of the building if the questions aren’t answered soon enough. Eventually they can win money if they continue to answer correctly, but once they run out of chances, they are lifted over the edge of the building and bungeed to the ground below.

I was immediately appalled as I watched a washer, dryer and dining room set plummet to their eminent destruction. How in the world could a network television show promote this kind of waste in such a poor economy? My wife and I would kill for a new washer and dryer, and I just watched some jackass throw it off the roof of a building.

Could you make us feel any worse about our lives right now ABC? Please?

After watching a recap I realized they state at the beginning of the show that the prizes they’re demolishing are replicas… but honestly, that didn’t make me feel any better about this garbage. I looked for some reaction to the show on the Interweb and the few reviews I found made no mention of the prizes being replicas – which tells me that viewers either didn’t know and they’re disgusted with the idea or they did know and they’re STILL disgusted with the idea.

I suppose the appeal is that people like to watch stuff break… which I guess is ok every once in a while, but piggybacking an entire series on the premise is a bit absurd if you ask me. Before I realized the prizes were replicas I was convinced that this was one of the worst pieces of television I’d ever seen. Now, I’ll just say it was terrible.

Not even the star power of Chris Jericho could save it.

I do love this song though... not that it has anything to do with this trainwreck of a game show.



Come say hi at 4 p.m. for The Ride.

JaMarcus Russell - Black eye #486 for the NFL

So is it still considered a fall from grace even if you never did anything graceful? And know this: JaMarcus Russell hasn’t had a graceful moment since he peaked as an LSU Tiger back in 2006.

If you haven’t heard by now, Russell, who was recently released by the Oakland Raiders, was arrested Monday for possession of a controlled substance. What controlled substance you ask? Well he’s a multi-millionaire who spent three years living the glitz and glamour life of a starting quarterback in the NFL, so obviously it must have been a high profile drug… right?

Nope. Not even close. In true JaMarcus Russell form (see: embarrassing, disappointing, lazy) he was busted with codeine-laced cough syrup. Specifically, Russell was indulging in his cocktail du jour, a concoction called “Purple Drank” that includes the following fresh, seasonal ingredients: codeine, promethazyne, Sprite and Jolly Ranchers.

Even his fellow drug abusers are pointing and laughing at this one. Purple Drank?! Really?! It sounds like the next in a line of successful sugary kids’ drinks from the makers of Tang. Maybe someday the astronauts will drink it from outer space.

I don’t think anyone is necessarily surprised to see this kind of behavior from Russell (the lethargic, drowsy feeling caused by the drug certainly helps explain his performance on the field, hey-yo!), but it’s yet another black eye for the NFL, a league that has become so strife with off the field problems that it’s quickly becoming a caricature of itself.

Something has to give soon, right? I realize that other professions aren’t in the same spotlight as NFL superstars, but when are there enough high-profile off-the-field incidents for someone to say enough is enough? Truth be told, I’m not even sure what the solution or outcome should be, but isn’t that what suits like Roger Goodell are paid the big bucks to figure out? I know we live in a very, sometimes entirely too forgiving country (Michael Vick what?), but at some point Goodell and his cronies need to realize the big-picture harm they’re doing by not solving this problem.



Come back for The Ride at 4 p.m. guys and dolls. xoxoxo

...For The Ride Home: That awful couple from "The Hills" is broke, new Kings Of Leon music and a big, big game tonight in Boston

Gave this a watch last night. It's so, so charming. And even funny at times. Always good to take a chance on buying a movie and feel justified once you finally get the time to watch it three months later. It's right there with "The Lucky Ones" when considering films I'm fairly certain nobody has or will see, but really should if they get the chance. There isn't anything particularly special about these movies. They are simply nice little ditties that should be seen by more people. Plus, I'm sort of like a woman. I like romantic-y, comedy-y things. Moving forward, it's Thursday, and oh how the days pass by like frienemies often do. Huge game this evening in Boston (as you will see below), and we'd be remiss if we didn't extend our congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks for winning the Stanley Cup last night. Somewhere, Michael Wilbon is happy. And finally - keeping with the sports theme - today is the last day before the first day of the World Cup. Adjust the next month of your schedule accordingly. Thinking about throwing money on the U.S. Saturday. Probably not a good idea, right? Anyways, before any of that gets under way, take a look at the links below and celebrate the fact that the weekend is almost here. Be good, now.

The kids from “The Hills” are broke. Had to pull this out – “Spencer spends all of his money on gadgets, including professional night vision equipment and telescopes.” (Dime Wars)

A vote for Larry King, Andy Rooney and Betty White to go away in the wake of all this Helen Thomas business. Come on, man. That was the best “Saturday Night Live” in decades. (Uncle Barky)

Pretty good idea that’s been overlooked so far: If LeBron James leaves Cleveland, it certainly isn’t Cleveland’s fault at this point. Speaking of which, how about all that Tom Izzo stuff? Goodness. (Deadspin)

New York Post writers leave because the place has become insufferable. Interesting. (Gawker)

Kings Of Leon started their tour and played brand new songs. In honor, dance to “Sex On Fire” tonight. (Spin)

Yesterday, “Back To The Future” and “Jurassic Park.” Today, a new “Mortal Combat.” (USA Today)

A big, big game four tonight for Boston. Here’s Bob Ryan’s column regarding how Derek Fisher won game three for L.A. Tuesday night. It’s win or stay home for the Celtics tonight. (Boston Globe)

This was weird. Jeremy Roenick cries after Chicago wins the Stanley Cup. Odd. (The Huffington Post)

...For The Ride Home: My goodness 50 Cent, Willie Nelson cuts his hair and be sure to add Elmo on Twitter

"Everybody's Fine" was...I don't know. It's hard to imagine anyone my age liking it for the first 60 to 70 minutes. It's a bit hollow. It's missing depth. But once that last half-hour picks up, and the movie winds down, it's pretty good. The movie itself is the true definition of "OK, there is really going to have to be a good ending to consider this movie not bad on any level." I cried twice. But I can cry at puppy dogs, so that shouldn't be a good indicator. Rent it? Probably not. If you happen to be flipping through the channels late one night, there is nothing else on, and you see the movie is already half-way done, you might as well give it a shot. Anything else, you may consider a waste of time. How could I possible follow that up? I watched the first three chapters of the R. Kelly "Trapped In The Closet" series, which is why chapter one is above. It's just so neat! And I'll stand by that now and forever. It's guilty pleasure No. 419. And finally, today is our two month anniversary!! Notice two exclamation points. Naturally, we'd like to thank you, the incredibly attractive reader, for coming back as much as you have, and helping us grow. To show our appreciation, check back tomorrow for a brand new fun feature. In the meantime, groove to some Kells up top, struggle with the sport of golf, much like we do, and check out a few links below. It's Thursday, friends. The weekend is near.

Thought about posting these pictures to accompany this post, but realized it may scare you away. This is how 50 Cent looks today. Honestly. And it’s alarming. (The Superficial)

Newsweek has a new Web site. Does this mean the magazine won’t go under? (Newsweek)

Speaking of changes, get ready for some when it comes to The Hollywood Reporter. Janice Min has ideas. (Los Angeles Times)

Ohhh, Lisa, Lisa. Our heart aches that “American Idol” is over and this will be the last recap. Crystal gets to sing with Alanis Morissette; they duet her tune "You Oughta Know" which produces the best lyric change in the history of "American Idol." The lyric: “Would she go down on you in a theater?” becomes “Would she go down with you to the theater?” They hug each other after pulling that off. (Washington Post)

Willie Nelson cut his hair. Is it weird that I actually wondered to myself when he would ever do that the other day? (CBS News)

The United States national team met and spoke with Joe Biden today. Jason Sudeikis’ impressions of him on SNL make me laugh. (TMZ)

Remember when we told you Limp Bizkit were reuniting and touring? Yeah, they apparently have to move the venues. Next step? Cancel the tour. (Limp Bizkit)

Elmo tweets. (Twitter)

...For The Ride Home: A legend dies, a perfect game is thrown and a Hot 100 list that has Katy Perry at the top

Took some time and settled in to this Academy Award winning movie (the great Herbie Hancock won for original score in 1987, I believe, and the lead role, played by Dexter Gordon, was up for best actor, and damnit, he should have won) last night. Taken from the lives of two jazz greats, Lester Young and Bud Powell, if you claim to have any interest in good jazz music, this is a complete must-see. Hell, even if you would like to see a pretty good movie, it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot. It may run a bit long, but it's definitely worth it. In any case, moving forward, we begin week seven on a sad note. As you will see, Lena Horne passed away last night, and keeping with the jazz theme, we highly suggest you take a look at the woman's obituary, linked below. The Pens, Magic, Lakers and Bruins go for sweep tonight in playoff sports. Though I clearly had some time to catch up on the best reality television out there this weekend, I did squeeze in Real Madrid's late attempt at trying to overcome Barcelona's lead in the Primera Division. They cut it to a point, but we can all agree it's highly unlikely the club moves into first by season's end. Lionel Messi is far too good. Wow, we touched on a lot here, didn't we? Anyways, onward and upward...

One of the 20 most important women in music/film/Hollywood/life of the last 100 years died last night. If you follow one link today, make sure it’s this. Educate yourselves, friends. (Philly.com)

Dallas Braden threw the 19th perfect game in Major League Baseball history yesterday. Like any good man would, he turned to his grandmother for a hug afterward. Great read. (San Francisco Chronicle)

It’s Maxim Hot 100 time. Completely, utterly, maddening-ly disagree with Katy Perry as No. 1. (Maxim)

Really, really neat idea: 48 Hours magazine created over the weekend. It’s like bringing the Internet to print. (Wall Street Journal)

That was the funniest “Saturday Night Live” in years. The only thing missing was a "What Up With That." And, as the headline so elegantly proclaims: Jay-Z crushed it. (Pitchfork)

Interesting: After pulling out of The Players’ Championship yesterday, a vote for Tiger to shut it down for the rest of the year. (The Big Lead)

Piracy caused “Iron Man 2” to not do as well as some may have thought during its opening weekend. Guess $133 million isn’t enough. (The Hollywood Reporter)

Yeah, what’s this all about? (Twitter)

...For The Ride Home: Those funny Kobe pictures, "Twilight," Jon Stewart and suggestive Utah newspaper people

Who's makin' love to your old lady, while you were out makin' love? That's what the Blues Brothers ask in the above video (channeling the great Johnnie Taylor in the process), taking you into the weekend after finishing week six of this blog's existence. It's been fun, hasn't it? This week, we professed our love for Butch Walker, learned some valuable lessons and broke down the calendar year like no other. Next week? Oh, well you will just have to wait and see the fun we have planned for you, the talented, fantastically pretty reader, you. As for now, before you get your tickets to see what has already become a blockbuster, "Iron Man 2," be sure to click on a link or two, leave a comment or six, and meet us right back here Monday morning with more fun than a box of slinkies. Before we go, a reminder: Don't forget the question the above video asks while you are out this weekend, fellas. Stay loyal, stay proud. As always, love you, miss you.

Hell of a week for Kobe and these pictures. Saw them Sunday and didn’t think to link them. Now that the Interwebs have used all week funnin’ around with them, it’s worth a mention. (The Big Lead)

Can’t recall a time I was more excited for an episode of “Saturday Night Live” in the past year. Naturally, I won’t be in a position to watch it. (MTV)

First Newsweek and now Discover. (Folio)

The worst NFL Draft party ever. (Deadspin)

College newspaper’s farewell issue goes over the line with annual vulgar hidden message in the pages’ copy. Why does this matter as much? It’s in Utah. Always thought people in Utah were nice people. (The Salt Lake Tribune)

Five words: Jon Stewart succeeding Katie Couric. (Market Watch)

Only because “The Invention Of Lying” is one of the greatest movies of the last five years. And because for anyone who has ever, wait, take some time to let that set, EVER, been involved with concerts or bands in any way, this rings too true for comfort. (Pollstar)

Good point: Google image searches are a pain. (Popmatters)

The stars from “Twilight” admit they are dating each other. We knew it must be true when they were spotted watching Kings Of Leon together. Three years ago. (E!Online)

...For The Ride Home: How much would you pay to work at The Huffington Post, Derby ratings are great, Primus is touring and Mr. West, Mr. West

Well, you knew this was coming. Fantastically wonderful weekend (even with the unfortunate Derby result, as we will speak of below), and the highlights came from two movies. First, Carey Mulligan is a doll. An absolute doll. Craig Ferguson even agrees, as you will see above. If "Up In The Air" is 1A in 2009, then "An Education" is 1B. It exceeded all expectations and now a complete crush is in full effect (though don't worry, we won't dedicate an entire week to her. It was tempting, though. Awfully tempting.) The second movie? Easily the funniest movie of 2009, "In The Loop." The most comedic, laugh-out-loud sentence was uttered, though I will not repeat it in this particular post in fear that it will be spoiled for those who venture out to rent it. Because really, you should rent it. Like, tonight. And stop with your proclimations regarding "The Hangover." It wasn't even the funniest movie Zach Galifianakis was in...last year. In any case, I now begin my task in finding a version of Carey Mulligan I can trick into thinking I'm cool. Say a prayer. In the meantime, check out these links, and prepare yourself for what some say is the best month out there.

The funniest author of all time thinks the Beach Boys made the greatest album in the history of music. And Cheez-its are essential to life. Great, fun read. (Popmatters)

Wow, a lot is being made about Tim Tebow going to Denver. Stress the wow. (The Big Lead)

Primus is touring. Neat. Side: Once saw them in a theater and the power to the room went out for over 15 minutes. Drummer Tim Alexander offered up an incredible acoustic drum solo and, as expected, Les Claypool cracked a thousand brilliant one-line jokes into no microphone. Oh. And “Jerry Was A Race Car Driver” is one of the greatest funk-rock jams ever. Ever. (Pollstar)

Lost money on the Derby this weekend. But the ratings were great, so at least somebody won. (USA Today)

The price of an internship at The Huffington Post? Nine grand. (Yahoo)

Alluded to this last night, and the wonderful Robin Givhan agrees with us: The fashion at this year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner took a turn for the better. (Washington Post)

What? You didn’t hear Limp Bizkit is making a comeback?! (Limp Bizkit)

“Limpy, chunky, boogie-eating chump, B/Acting out of place like Hootie singing country.” Came across this weeks ago, but didn’t link it. The episode aired last night. Say what you want about Kanye, but it’s stuff like this that makes you not entirely despise him. (MTV)

...For The Ride Home: Guess who Betty White loves, playoff ratings are up and some jazz music to take you into a beautiful weekend

Story time: I ooked someone this morning. What's ooked? Crossed a dude up, went behind my back, and he falls over, square on the court. I then proceed to pick up my dribble and laugh at him, while staring at his fallen-down body. Passed the ball to a wide-open teammate, and bam: Easy layup. The guy was angry. Tellin' you, though. Had to let the youngins know what the old head can do. Don't sleep. Anyways, got back from the gym to find a dear friend of mine screaming through texts and voice mails that (yes, he's going go say it) this new Eminem freestyle is the best freestyle the Detroit rapper has ever done. Mixtapes, records, whatever. Yep. he said it. In honor of that, and in honor of saying goodbye to week five, we offer the above 2-and-a-half-minute jaunt (yes, the one featuring a line about Big Ben) for your listening pleasure. Had to call him back to say he may be right. As for now, though we have no idea where you are, but where we are, the weather is fantastic and you couldn't have a better looking day than this as we all leap head-first into May. But before you enjoy all of that, be sure to check out the links below and rock that new Em track. We absolutely cannot wait until we see you back here Monday morning, and as always, love you, miss you.

“I’m thrilled to meet him. I’m thrilled to see he’s going to be on the show because he’s the hottest thing since sliced bread, but I certainly enjoy him.” We’d ask you to guess, but we know you’d never get it. Betty White on Jay-Z. Where’s Blanche? (MTV)

Chief Digital Officer of Gannett says the pay wall/paid content strategy newspapers believe are going to save them won’t. In fact, he believes it so much, he’s quitting Gannett. Interesting. (Gannett Blog)

Let it begin in New York: Santonio Holmes gets kicked off flight for not turning off his iPod. Rex Ryan goes for seconds during breakfast. (TMZ)

Great headline: All They Want To Do Is Sue. The Eagles don’t want songs to be used for political gain. Or at least this politician’s gain. (Pollstar)

Spring game to see an official wearing a microphone. NBA TV ratings are up. And (because we know you’re out there) Versus NHL playoff ratings beat ESPN numbers for the first time ever. Caps fans still cry. (USA Today)

Halle Berry is single. Love her hair times infinity. (MSNBC)

In honor of other people involved with this blog: Never Shout Never. (Rolling Stone)

Because Jazz music does an awfully good job at soothing your soul. A day’s worth of material on Duke Ellington, complete with crazy good 1967 video. (NPR)

“All The President’s Men” is the greatest movie ever. They want to do it again. Only this time, around the catholic church scandal. Raise your eyebrows awkwardly right about…now. (Deadline)

...For The Ride Home: The NHL might go to ESPN, old people get their own reality show and the fabulousness of Viola Davis

Isn't it odd how similar spring and fall are, yet the feelings they portray couldn't be more opposite? Spring is a time of hope, setting you up for months filled with memories, nice weather, vacations, romance, opportunity and reason for optimism. Fall is a time of reflection, setting you up for months filled with cold, isolation, longing, loneliness and a beauty that is only beautiful because of its tragedy. But nature gives us something near the exact same backdrop for almost all the duration of both (depending on the when the leaves either fall or bloom). A 50 degree day in May is certainly not a 50 degree day in October. I digress. Can't wait to get to "An Education." Ms. Mulligan looks cuter than three boxes of buttons. And finally, Happy one-month anniversary! Goodness, how time has flown! Again, the exclamation point is added for effect. We are eternally grateful for you, the wonderfully beautiful reader, for reading the silly things we have to say. To think we have even had one comment, one follower or one reader is a blessing, so please know it does not go unnoticed. Then again, the day we see that nobody is reading this, we will cry until our eyebrows need to be air-dried. That said, from us to you, we thank you and we look forward to many more months together in what promises to be a prosperous relationship. Because if relationships aren't prosperous, what good are they?

When he says “Use this, I beg of you,” you know it has to be good, right? This has to be a candidate for the biggest show on OPN (The Old People’s Network). And if you get that joke, I will seriously buy you a dinner of your choice. (New York Times)

Who doesn’t love "The Price Is Right?" Side: Once interviewed a showcase showdown winner, and she had nothing but glowing things to say about everything involved. Weeks later, she was still elated. (TV Squad)

In the name of “House,” saw this and had to post it. Scroll until you see. (PostSecret)

I agree. (Cristina Moreno)

Said this years ago (and someone who may or may not be involved with this blog knows it): ESPN is looking at another go with the NHL. And that, friends, is the key to success. (Mediaweek)

Guess who said it: You can’t kill the New York Times. (New York Observer)

New Eminem single Friday. Will it be clownish? Will it be serious? Wait. Will it be good? (MTV)

Remember Viola Davis from “Doubt?” How incredible was she? Correct answer: Very. Now, she’s going to be up for a Tony after staring opposite Denzel. Why isn’t she a star, yet? (Los Angeles Times)

For fans of “True Blood.” (MSNBC)

...For The Ride Home: Rufus doesn't want you to clap at his concerts, the media has trouble with Big Ben and Sarah Silverman is mad at Deadspin

Above, you see one of the greatest moments in NBA history: Allen Iverson making Michael Jordan look silly with a crossover. There wasn't a person in the world who thought that shot wasn't going in after he made the great one nearly fall to his knees. Why post this video now, at the conclusion of week four? Was finally able to sit down and watch the "30 for 30" on Iverson's trial last night. A little extensive, but provocative nonetheless. Couldn't get pass the director forcing himself upon the film, but aside from that, you should probably give it a look if you have an extra two hours. This is the last full weekend of April and goodness, where did the time go? You kind readers have been coming back for nearly a month now, and for that we are forever grateful. Be good, don't get into any stereotypical weekend trouble, and we will see you, the wonderfully gorgeous reader, back here Monday, ready and eager to read. As always, love you, miss you.

The most astute observation from last night’s NFL Draft. (Twitter)

Time magazine used to be much like a blog. Even better: David Halberstam’s name is dropped in this piece. (New York Times)

The case of Big Ben and how hard it has become for the media to properly cover it. Good read. (Market Watch)

Kim Kardashian used to be married? (Popeater)

Tiger’s back to slumming it: He blogged about the Masters, golfing and vacation. Scott Van Pelt adjusts the "bookmarks" function on his computer.(Tiger Woods)

Interesting: Archie comics is going to introduce a gay character into its comics. The revolution begins now. (Entertainment Weekly)

A little late on this, but it needs to be addressed: Rufus Wainwright is set to kick off his tour, and wants you to know that his audiences are prohibited from clapping during his first set. Honestly. (Pollstar)

First she loses her husband, now she loses her Razzie. Still have to root for Sandra. Recently found out she waited until 40 to get married. Probably the right way to go. Just too bad she waited for what she ended up with. (CNN)

Sarah Silverman is mad at Deadspin. Jimmy Kimmel packs his bags and holds a going-away party after leaving the doghouse. (Deadspin)

...For The Ride Home: Christina Hendricks really is the prettiest woman around, Big Ben and Pulitzer winner doesn't care about newspapers

For those scoring at home, "Use Me" is the best song ever written. Period. Well, at least according to one particular person who may or may not write for this blog. Can't get "Ain't No Sunshine" out of the head, so we open Week 4 with a vintage photo of the man, myth and legend. Can fill out three more spots in that Top 5 list, but still searching for the effervescent number five song. Any suggestions? Anyways, how was your weekend? Good? That's good. The weather seemed to be collectively awful, but that didn't mean you couldn't cuddle up and catch up on some movies, television shows or books, right? Got new deodorant recently, and it smells grrrrrreat. Don't you love when that happens? Life's little battles. Onward and upward...

Wanted to wait to see if an announcement is actually made today, but according to wonder-kid Adam Schefter, we wait another day. For now, damning, lengthy article on Ben Roethlisberger and the chain of events around what happened. Pretty good. (Post-Gazette)

Coachella happened this weekend. You saw what Jay-Z did in a post earlier today. Now read about how Sly Stone is completely nuts. (Billboard)

Rufus Wainwright loves opera, 50 cent and maple syrup. Like him. A lot. (Details)

If the Wall Street Journal’s New York edition works out, they may expand to other cities. Rupert Murdoch pets a cat in a dark room. (Adage)

It’s buried, but it’s there (Page 2): The kid who won the Pulitzer last week isn’t getting calls from the big boys. And he doesn’t know if he wants to be a journalist forever. Some people. (Washington Post)

Rolling Stone looks different. Still offers occasionally hollow pieces. P.S. How about that “Glee” cover story? Something wrong there. Who gave that article the green light? (Rolling Stone)

Isla Fisher is pregnant. Or oddly shaped. Never would have guessed she’s almost 35. (Us Weekly)

You probably cared about the Country Music Awards. Eww. Remember this? If you read it, then you, friend, may have watched the Juno Awards instead. Unrelated: The movie with Ellen Page and Michael Cera. (New York Times)

In a(n) (un)surprising move, Christina Hendricks was named America’s Best Looking Woman today. Good. Love “Mad Men.” Love her. Those who want to give it to Megan Fox clearly haven't read this. (Dimewars)

...For The Ride Home: It's tax day, Something Corporate is back and Lisa de Moraes is a better writer than you

Plan on watching "Broken Flowers" tonight based strictly on the recommendation that it is along the same lines and is as good - if not better - than "Lost In Translation." Has anyone seen it? Got excited when it was put in the que months ago. Lost the excitement. Have it back now that it's here. Should be fun. It's Thursday, which means this is the night when pretty, young people usually go out and begin their respective weekends early with time at the bar and the occasional one-night-stand. Good luck with all that. Don't forget to follow us on Twitter, or e-mail us at theunusualsuspectsblog@gmail.com. Again, anyone who submits a good link will receive a box of sour patch kids. If none of that interests you, read about microwaves and think of Jack. Be good.


Today is tax day. Hope you filed your taxes. Big brother is watching. (Yahoo)

Easily the best story from all the Pulitzer prizes: 28-year-old in Bristol wins for investigative work. We give it three months before one of the big boys grabs him up. (Mediamatters)

Remember what we said about Eminem’s “Relapse 2?” Hours later, he announced plans for “Recovery.” (Rolling Stone)

Man delivers obituary, then commits suicide. Sad. (Sacramento Bee)

“One Sponsor Car Company Youth Market Car Model Music Video later, it's time for another Seabiscuit Moment of High Tension and Drama, as Casey James, Andrew Garcia, and Aaron Kelly are called to center stage.” Going to keep linking her Idol recaps until somebody recognizes her brilliance. (Washington Post)

A complete roundup of all the Tiger parody commercials with his dad’s voice. Funny. (Deadspin)

So, Something Corporate is back. Does this mean Jack’s Mannequin is dead? (Spin)

More from the Pulitzers: Washington Post writer Howie Hurtz is not happy that the Washington Times didn’t mention the Post winners. (Twitter)

...For The Ride Home: Terry Gross, Elin is mad at Tiger, no "Relapse 2" and women love mean dudes

Watched the original movie version of "In Cold Blood" a couple nights ago, completing the trifecta that is watching "Capote," reading "In Cold Blood" and then viewing it in black and white. Can only think of a handful of writers that would be joining Mr. Capote in my top tier of authors. The movie itself was pretty good (and long), but it held my interest for each and every one of those nearly-150 minutes. Some things were left out, and as usual, the book was better, but if you even have the smallest amount of admiration for the man's work, then it's must-see. And you thought we would only use photos of celebrities. Silly reader, you.

Told you more would come regarding Pulitzer winners: Mark Firoe, winner of the Editorial Cartoon Pulitzer, talks about how he nearly didn’t have the opportunity to become what he is today. (Washington Post)

Because “Fresh Air” gives some of the best, most in-depth interviews in talk radio: A day in the life of Terry Gross. (The Atlantic Wire)

Via TS, again (that’s two days in a row!). Honestly thought this was a joke. Still trying to wrap my head around it. (Yahoo)

Wow. So Genesis can’t reunite for the Hall of Fame, but Phil Collins can release a new record and maybe tour? Neat: This four-night stand will include The Funk Brothers, and he’s taking out drummer Chester Thompson with him, too. Side: Once exchanged e-mails with Thompson for a long period of time and he couldn’t have been nicer. He even offered up his phone number. Nothing like test messaging a pseudo member of Genesis. (Pollstar)

Speaking of touring, Modest Mouse is heading out this summer. (Pitchfork)

Elin is mad at Tiger for his creepy commercial. You go, girl! (ABC News)

Interesting: “American Idol” music director plans to take over when Kevin Eubanks leaves “The Tonight Show.” (Popeater)

According to Eminem, “Relapse 2” will never happen. (Twitter)

If men aren’t nice to women, they will get more dates. (CNN)

Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty

Quick, guess the woman:

1. Her mother does not have her cell phone number.
2. Family relatives “doubt” that she was actually ever molested as a child, something this mystery woman has claimed for years.
3. She loves ding-dongs, sour-cream potatoes, chicken and pecan pies.
4. She often refers to herself in the third person.
5. There is a pretty good possibility she once slept with John Tesh.

Give up? OK. That last one gave it away, I know, I know. It’s Oprah. And how do we know these things? Well, that’s because Ms. Kitty Kelley – a so-called “investigative journalist” who has written dozens of “unauthorized biographies” about many a celebrity in her day (word is, Frank Sinatra didn’t have many kind words to say to the writer when confronted with her) – shocked (shocked!) the world by releasing her findings into the life of quite possibly the most popular and successful female talk show host ever.

Question No. 1: How has Oprah become the phenomenon she has become over the last couple decades? What’s her lure?
Question No. 2: In an age of “Gotcha” journalism/media, why is anyone ever really that surprised to find out personal information about idols who almost literally hold in their possession millions of people’s hearts?
And Question No. 3: John Tesh?

Ahh, yes. John Tesh. Liz Clarke, the fantastic Washington Post sportswriter, went on the radio yesterday and brought up a very interesting variable about this entire situation.

“I’ll confess to being interested in her taste,” the writer said with a little bit of laughter. “And to me, I find John Tesh revolting.”

And boom goes the dynamite.

So much criticism is thrust upon the “nothing is safe from the public” world we live in these days, but you would be lying to yourself if you ever tried to dismiss such gossipy news because of one’s privacy. No, I don’t have the least bit desire to know the first thing about Oprah’s personal life, but yes, I do have at least a little bit of interest in knowing things that suggest who she really may be. And yes, there’s a difference.

I know I shouldn’t like it, and yes we can all agree that it is universally wrong to invest highly in such trash-talk reporting, but come on, friends. Gossip is fun. Sure, I may lose a little bit of self-respect, but what self-respecting human being can’t admit to glancing out of the corner of his or her eye to see what exactly it is that is making all that proverbial noise over there?

It’s safe to say that Kitty Kelley is sleaze. That’s fair. And it’s also safe to assume that regardless of her 800-plus sources she reportedly used to write this book, no one is going to take her reporting seriously (especially considering the hold Oprah has on so many women, and the desire many may have to dive into a pit of naivety when it comes to criticizing such an iconic figure). But one of the best differences between men and women is a woman’s natural desire to partake in such gossip-mongering talk. It’s pleasurable and shameful at the same time. It releases a connection with someone you will never have the opportunity to connect with while using that desired, mythical connection to actually connect with someone who may want to feel that same type of, well, connection. Get it? Good.

Now, when’s the next Us Weekly hit newsstands?

And, wait. Who said anything about Gossip?

The last Tiger Woods post until the next Tiger Woods post

Held off on a lot of possible Tiger posts last week. Thought it was cliché, and while you may not think to believe it, we do try and tackle things that other, better, more powerful blogs may decide to skip. It was simply too easy. Sure, we offered a link here or there, but no narrative came at any point. Why even try it? Honestly. You’ve already made your mind up about the golfer by now, anyways. What are you going to learn here that you couldn’t read elsewhere?

But as the weekend went on, and as Tiger became more determined to come back to the tour with a bang, a question popped in and out of my head as the cheers became louder and the coverage became more forgiving. Come on: Those airplane banners were the only two things that even remotely looked critical when it came to discussing the golfer. And even those were quickly dismissed as juvenile. That question? How did he happen to regain everyone’s heart so quickly?

Yahoo’s Brian Murphy wrote Sunday night about how nothing surrounding the golfer has changed.

“We’d forgotten – through all the tabloids and TMZ.coms and weird statements in front of blue curtains and five-minute time limits and hearing Earl’s voice again – that Tiger is the best in the world at what he does, anytime, anywhere. He’s beyond maestro. He is the uber-maestro, if there is such a thing. We’ve just made it up, right here. And yet, there were so many moments of poor golf, it reminded you that just five months ago he wheeled his Escalade into a fire hydrant and tree, and hadn’t played competitively since.”

He cussed. He yelled. He acted like a brat. By the time Sunday evening came, it was back to the “Gosh, I played awful and now I just want to call the nearest pancake waitress to let off some steam” joke he’s become. Moreover – and more importantly – having viewed his four days at the Masters as nothing more than an extension of what we have all grown to see him as on the golf course – for all the good and all the bad – why aren’t we to suggest nothing else about his life has changed, either?

It wasn’t too long ago that each day, we’d awake to find a different woman, with a different story, talking about a different instance in which Tiger cheated on his wife, the notoriously absent-from-this-weekend Elin. Because he was in the hunt Sunday afternoon, did almost every golf fan in the world forget about how he duped an entire world filled with Tiger-lovers for years, proclaiming to be a disciplined role model who you could always count on to take his vitamins and win golf tournaments?

Ironic: What made Phil Mickelson’s victory so special Sunday, and the first place he turned to after securing the win was ….his wife. Who would have Tiger turned to had he been able to pull off a miraculous Masters triumph?