What does the Monopoly game at McDonald’s and going to the gym have in common?

Nothing, really, aside from the fact that the two will be intertwined in this particular blog post. But hey, the headline got your attention, right?

This week, I decided that after a year-and-a-half away from the gym (though not away from running – if you remember correctly), that I would once again gain membership and begin consciously trying to better my physical health by both keeping up with the running and adding a few lifting rituals into the mix.

The problem with all of this? Yesterday marked the beginning of McDonald’s Monopoly game for the year! That’s right. Twenty-seven Big Macs, 52 Angus burgers and a whole bunch of chicken nuggets could mean a brand new television, a shiny car or millions upon gamillions of dollars for me to waste on DVDs of television shows (I’m looking at you, “House.”)

So…what to do? I haven’t a clue. I’ve kept my mind pretty open about wrestling with the gym this time around (don’t over-do it, don’t get burned out quickly, don’t hate running on treadmills, and no, I won’t have an eight-pack of abs by the end of the week, no matter how many miles I put in), but the entire notion of waking up early to run and lift, while capping that off with an extra value meal at McDonald’s later in the day seems to be a bit counterintuitive, don’t you think?

But the game is just so much fun! Of all the fast food restaurant games, this one’s easily the best. In fact, it’s so good, most all other fast food chains have simply just given up on promotions all together (aside from that silly football game Wendy’s seems to be offering again). Come on, now. You’d be lying if you say you’ve never thought of the implications of picking up a large order of french fries and possibly finding that one missing piece you’ve been waiting to come across that would provide you with a free small soft drink or, well, $50,000 in cash.

It’s great, really. I just haven’t decided how to tackle it, though. And that’s why I turn to you, my dear, dear, blogtastic friends. Should I stop working out? Should I give up on my Monopoly dreams? Should I pay for other people’s meals and take their pieces? Should I ignore the temptations? Should I plan my funeral, considering my arteries will be plugged within six months if I plan to move forward with the McDonald’s angle? So many questions. So few answers.

That said, if anybody happens across any McDonald’s Monopoly pieces, and doesn’t wish to indulge themselves in such game-playing foolishness (or, for that matter, if you are willing to trade one of your eight New York Avenues for one of my 14 Baltic Avenues), remember you can always e-mail us at theunusualsuspectsblog@gmail.com. And if that doesn’t work, we are always available in the comments section.

And remember, any of these things could happen to me, should I decide to strictly go with weight lifting and nothing else…



…And that would be painful.

Tailgating Essentials - What's on your menu?

I was recently lucky enough to get my hands on a couple Pittsburgh Steeler tickets for today's preseason game against the Carolina Panthers. I know, I know - it's only preseason, the fourth game doesn't matter, we'll probably rest the starters, blah blah blah the game will suck blah. But trust me, that doesn't mean I don't plan on having a rock-awesome time... during and especially BEFORE the game.

Parking lots open five hours before kickoff, which gives plenty of time for tailgating shenanigans - and by shenanigans I of course mean food and adult beverage consumption. And cornhole... I really like playing cornhole (bean bag toss game). But really, it's about the food and brew.

I've got a pretty sweet little menu today, if I do say so myself. Today we'll be indulging in some slow cooked Italian Beef, creamy macaroni salad and salt and vinegar potato chips. Believe me when I tell you, this beef melts in your mouth. And it's so easy (1 lb. lunchmeat roast beef from deli, italian dressingseasoning packet, jar of sliced pepperoncinis (drained) and jar of beef broth - slow cooker for a few hours - heaven).

My question today is what are some of your favorite tailgating foods? As you can see from my menu, I'm not messing with bringing a charcoal grill out to the middle of a parking lot when it's 90+ degrees, so the opportunities are endless. Below are my five faves, based on the following characteristics: not too expensive, not too hard to transport, not too time-consuming to make and good with beer. Allow me to apologize in advance to any vegetarians - you're cool, but I like meat (thatswhatshesaid). Here you go...

Kielbasa and Saurkraut
I like it best when you slow cook in with brown sugar and caraway, then finish it on the grille if possible, just to get some char on there.

Cocktail Meatballs
So many possibilities: sweet and sour, barbecue, italian... my wife makes a killer meatball sauce that is sort of a hybrid between sweet and sour and barbecue. My mouth is currently watering.

Burgers and Dogs
Simple, classic, delicious. The only thing I don't like about these American staples from a tailgaing sense is the necessity for condiments.

Sloppy Joes/Ham BBQ
I'm not sure why these go together, but they do for me for some reason. Like my Italian Beef, they can be made early, put in a slow cooker and busted out in the parking lot, ready to enjoy.

Homemade Dips
A few of my favorites are buffalo chicken, sloppy joe, spinach and mexican. Again, all can be made early and make for an awesome side or appetizer.

It would be great if you would add to this list, friends, winkwink. I'm positive you have better, more creative ideas that can help this wonderful little community get their eat on before gametime.

Until next time, let's go Steelers, hugs and kisses all around. Come back at 4 p.m. for your Ride links.

...For The Ride Home: Burger King is up for sale, CBS News to lay off tons of more workers and Eminem finally falls from the top

So, this sits on my DVD player in a Netflix envelope, waiting to be placed into the movie-playing device. Opened it to find it runs nearly two-and-a-half hours. That kind of got in the way. One billion doubts about this movie, but we will see how it turns out, I suppose. Matt Damon. Morgan Freeman. Have to trust them, right? Anyways, welcome to Wednesday, and, more importantly, welcome to September. That's correct, friends. School is back in session for most every high school and, I think (though it seems like it's been decades since I've been there) some colleges even. The leaves will begin to turn. The weather will get colder. The days become shorter. The fall depresses me. No, honestly. That can be a post someday. But it does. It's going to be hard to get through the next few months. Still frantically trying to catch myself up on 437 things that need to be caught up on before this weekend, so for the second straight day in a row, I must cut this paragraph short. But that doesn't mean I don't love you. Besides, it should give you some extra time to reflect back on the "Dancing With The Stars" cast, and the decision to keep Bob Bradley as coach of the United States Men's Soccer Team. And we all know how much you'd like to put that time to use. So go, friends, go!

First and foremost (and because it’s always good to keep this in the family): A collection of art for you to check out. And it’s even on Blogspot to boot! (Portfolio)

So, about that new show on FX based around Louis CK… Here’s a commentary. (Popmatters)

The Washington Post is going to put out an iPad app. And people seem to really care. (Yahoo)

If you work at CBS News, update your resume. (The Daily Beast)

This is long, but it’s a fantastic read. Yes, TMZ has changed everything. Everything. And, as something I’ve been saying now for quite a while, they get it first. Yes, they may pay for the news, and yes, they brake hundreds of ethics codes, but they get it first, and they get it right. There’s something to be said for that. (Village Voice)

Mo Williams and LeBron kiss. Make up. (Deadspin)

So, who wants to buy Burger King and shut every single one down in the world with me? (Forbes)

Conan names his new show after himself. How egotistical! (ABC News)

Katy Perry ends Eminem’s run at the top. Dude had a good run. Actually, a great run during these days. Irony: Finally received my copy of Recovery in the mail today, too. (Billboard)

Chinese food: A tale of love and hate

So, Chinese food. You dig it? I do. Well, kind of. Actually, I don't really even know if I do, to be honest. I find myself eventually opting for the stuff on days in which I am suffering through a bad hangover - Sundays, really. I don't know why, either. There's something about it that works after drinking an entire bottle of whiskey the night before.

What do I get? A C-1 to me, an order of General Tso's chicken to you (with white rice, mind you). And that's it. I've tried other dishes at other times, but to get an entire order filled with any of them would be too big of a risk, I believe. Besides, there is no consistency within any of the orders I receive. Sometimes, the chicken is crisp. Sometimes, it's mushy. Sometimes, the sauce is spicy. Sometimes, it's bland.

And that's why I'm writing this. I am the definition of "hot and cold" when it comes to Chinese food. The days I enjoy it, I enjoy it a bunch. The days I could do without it, I tell myself I'm never going to try it again (and this, in and of itself, is odd in its own right simply because I stayed away from this kind of food for the first 20-plus years of my life).

This all got me wondering what you think. Is there anyone out there who can honestly say they have a passion for Chinese food? Over steak? Spaghetti? A five-star, four-course meal? Is there anyone who views Chinese food much like people typically view fast food burger joints such as McDonald's or Wendy's? Can't be, right? I mean, honestly. Who could ever crave this kind of food on such a consistent basis that you eat it daily (unless, of course, you happen to be of Chinese ethnicity. Then, of course, this particular conversation probably doesn't apply to you).

All of that said, I was wondering if there are any dishes out there aside from General Tso's chicken that you enjoy? And what are they? And why do you enjoy them? Seems to me some of that stuff can be dicey. But there has to be at least one dish that could catch my eye. Something meat-y? Vegetable-y? Come on, now. I'm way sick of having to order the same thing every single time I get in the mood to order such food.

But speaking of such food, when you call yourself "The definitive General Tso's chicken page," you most certainly deserve a link (especially when the top of your page reads "Tso what?") So, well, here. You need to check that out. And for those of you wondering how to make the dish yourself...

A salad is a salad is a salad is a salad.

So, I came across this last night. Wait, what? How the hell did you mindlessly come across this out of nowhere? I had a salad last night for dinner, silly. Or, as some may refer to it as, a dinner salad. It came from the world-renown salad-making power-house, Pizza Hut. I ate the salad, thought about salad, and then typed the world “salad” into a google news search, and that link is a result of what I found.

I’ve always loved salads but until the last couple months – months dedicated to losing weight and being healthy – I never gave the notion of a salad serious consideration when considering dinner. Around 30 pounds lost later, a highly decreased running regimen, one vacation behind me and another on its way (more about that Friday), and it’s safe to say I’m off the wagon when it comes to this healthy thing.

But I still love salads, though, which is maybe the one thing I can take away from the last couple months of the Hell that is not eating and running 60,000 miles a day. What this gives me is nothing, really, other than a longer timeframe before I inevitably put all of that weight back on. But, hey. At least I’ll look good for the rest of the summer, right? Wait, you can’t see me.

Anyways, this particular recipe kind of grossed me out. I love BLTs. And I love salads. But a BLT salad? Honestly? It just doesn’t sound right. Why do salad-makers always have this burning desire to pair any type of awkward food with other awkward foods? Or elaborate dishes with other elaborate dishes? It’s like a quest for each chef to bring entire dishes together (ala a BLT salad) to try and form some super-meal. Why? What’s wrong with having a BLT and a salad separately, but as one meal? Seems perfectly fine to me.

You know what’s really good? A simple chef’s salad, or a salad one gets while ordering some bigger, elaborate and expensive meal. Think about it. A tiny bowl with nothing more than lettuce, maybe a tomato and/or cucumber, a couple croutons and a damn good dressing to go with it. These things are completely over-looked these days with trendy diets and elaborate eat-right plans. It’s a shame, really. Because a salad is a complement to a better meal first and an entire course second. Those who think otherwise are totally missing out on some true salad fun.

And speaking of salad fun…



Always nice to get a Monty Python video in to start the day.

Now, does anyone out there know any good salad recipes? Thought I'd ask. It'd be impolite not to.

Picky eating = new eating disorder?

An interesting story popped up on my RSS feed the other day, and although I fought the inclination to post about it right away, I can’t fight this feeling anymore (oh yes, I just said that).

The story was about how the University of Pittsburgh and Duke University launched the first national registry of picky eating in adults – and some researchers are thinking about considering it an officially recognized eating disorder.

Yes, you read that correctly, picky eating may become an OFFICIAL eating disorder in the same vein as anorexia and bulimia.

The premise of the argument stems from the idea that these picky peoples’ eating habits prevent them from getting all the necessary nutrients one needs to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and thus are at a disadvantage. Ok, fair enough. But do we really need an officially classified disorder to give people yet another excuse to engage in unhealthy behavior?

If you hate the taste of carrots and broccoli, that’s your preference and you’ll probably develop some vitamin deficiency. If you avoid a party with friends because you know the host makes weird, outlandish food when she entertains, that’s your prerogative and you’ll maybe lose a friend or have someone think you’re strange. Why must it be a disorder all of the sudden?

I can’t stomach asparagus or uncooked tomatoes – maybe I need to see a psychiatrist. My wife hates all seafood for the most part – maybe she needs to take a pill. Is that a stretch in the not so distant future?

My beef (hehe) is this: at some point someone needs to draw the line between disorders/addictions and weaknesses/shortcomings.

I am nothing special – let me say that first. I do not consider myself to be any healthier, smarter or more socially adept than anyone else. However, the following statements are true…

I understand that eating nothing but red meat and fried food can be detrimental to my physical health. I CHOOSE to try to avoid fast food and eat healthy. I understand that gambling can get me in trouble financially and possibly legally. I CHOOSE to not gamble very often. I understand that cheating on my wife has many ramifications. I CHOOSE to be faithful.

But the guy next door can say his heart attack and extreme obesity was caused by his picky eating disorder, his house was foreclosed because of his gambling compulsion and his wife left him over his sex addiction that made him cheat on her with multiple women.

NO – you made poor decisions and succumbed to weaknesses that millions of people fight everyday.

I don’t know how anyone else feels about this, but I say we chill out with making everything official. Maybe some people just make “officially” poor decisions sometimes. Maybe some of us are “officially” bad people.



All right, enough ranting and raving for one day. Give me your thoughts, if you have some – and I know you do, you wonderfully intelligent, opinionated readers you. ;)

See you on Monday, when we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled, twice a day programming. Please try to contain your excitement. Xoxoxoxo

Signs of Summer: Planning Beach Vacations

Only three more Signs of Summer before the official start on June 23, and hopefully that magical date will usher in some sunshine and leave the last 48 straight days of rain as nothing but a distant memory. But this isn’t a weather blog, it’s a… fun blog. So lets have some fun.

Today we pay homage to beach vacations.

Because really, for everyone other than the unfortunate ginger kid who can’t repel the sun with even SPF 500 protection, what’s better than a week of R&R in the sun and sand? For my money: nothing. I’ve been to a few beaches in my lifetime, although I’ve yet to reach the Pacific; definitely a goal of mine at some point.

Despite running the risk of sounding cliché or old (of which I’ve been called both), I think the Outer Banks, NC is the perfect beach destination for twenty-somethings. Oh, and let it be known, this idea is tainted by my east coast lean. Sorry to all you left coasters.

When you’re 18-22 or so, it’s all about the touristy hot spots – Myrtle Beach, Ocean City, Jersey Shores, etc. All pretty cheap, lots of flash, crowded beaches, chain restaraunts, many “opportunities.”

After a few years of that though, I think many of us tend to appreciate a beach that isn’t covered with people, sea gulls and feces (be it human or animal). A beach that is quiet enough that you can have your iPod on med-low volume so you can still faintly hear the waves. A beach with some awesome mom & pop eateries with local flare and flavors.

And while it’s not as cheap as the $35 per night beachfront motel room you and four friends split, it’s pretty close. In the past, we have rented four bedroom beach houses a block or two from the beach for under $1000. Split that eight ways (two people per bedroom) and you’ve got $125 per person. Split that for seven nights and you have $17.86 per person, per night. And no roaches, shared walls with strangers or seedy motel managers.

My honeymoon was at Riviera Maya, Mexico, which was pretty awesome in it’s own right, although not really affordable on a year-to-year basis. But dude, All-Inclusive is simply put the way to go for borderline alcoholics such as myself (I kid, I kid). Honest to God, if I didn’t get my money’s worth in Blue Hawaiians, Pina Coladas, Bud Lights and room service pizza, let lightning strike me dead.

Yep, I’m still here.

I truly hope you’re all going to the beach this summer – and that you think of this lonely little blog back home for a minute or two while you’re there.

Come Ride with us at 4 p.m. Hearts.

The hangover and the food that comes with it

Had a party this weekend. All the cool kids were there, and I'm fairly certain it was agreed upon by everyone that it was pretty much the best night of their lives. Party wise, at least. Hey, when you can rock that LCD Soundsystem record until five in the morning, while earlier in the night your record player sprinkled in some Tom Petty, Huey Lewis and Ray Charles, you know your party was better than just about everyone else's.

The problem, though, with having such a gathering, is that I'm noticing how awful I feel the day after a night filled with drinking. This is an occurrence that only recently became commonplace, and needs to be fixed soon. Maybe its the wine, liquor and beer. Should probably stick to only one of the above, right? But a couple bottles of wine just don't do the trick by themselves, and shots always need to be taken in order to proclaim toasts. And you can't have a party and not toast to something. Goodness. The intricacies of properly consuming alcohol.

Anyways, laying on the couch with a throbbing headache warranted the following thought: What's a good food to consume the day after a night filled with friends and booze? What exactly goes well with a hangover that makes you feel as though you will never move from your bed (aside from the requisite Tylenol, Advil and occasional Gatorade, of course)?

That headache now gone, I thought I'd throw a few thoughts out there to see if any stuck. Considering everyone typically has their own remedies for such situations, it may be nice to leave a comment or two, offering your own advice because mine clearly isn't full-proof, not even for me. That said, though, here are a couple examples of food I take solace in while feeling as though an 18-wheel truck is spinning through my brain.

Hamburgers and French FriesYeah, that sounds risky, I know. But I made an art out of waking up dizzy and still finding my way to McDonalds throughout my time in college. It's essential. The grease. The carbs. The complete awfulness of knowing you are eating processed food that was probably dropped on the floor three times before it hit the wrapper you see it in. Hey, if nothing else, eating such materials has been known to induce the act of vomiting. And remember what they always say about a way to make you feel better...

Pizza
This one is sort of odd, but the more I find myself in this predicament, the more I crave a slice of pizza by 5 'o clock. Now this can be tricky simply because of the varying pizzas that happen to be offered. Pizza Hut? Only if it's a personal pan because you sometimes roll the dice with how they may cook it. Dominoes? That can get a bit too cheesy. Same with Papa John's. A local joint? That's probably the best bet, though you know the local spots tend to be more inconsistent than any mainstream chain. That's OK, though, if you happen to love the smell of the pizza place. Because let's be honest. Stepping into a local pizzeria can instantly make anyone feel better based on smell alone. The big guys? They smell like garbage and dead cats. Not good for a hangover.

Tea
Only here because of my love for tea. It's hot, though. That helps.

Bread
People always seem to suggest toast and bread in these situations. Why? Before you know it, you have eaten eight slices of bread, put on six more pounds and you seem to wonder why you are still hungry. Still, bread is the perfect gateway food. It can lead you to finally gain an appetite for something more substantial - something that may just help. Besides, it's bread. Who doesn't have a loaf of bread just chilling out, always ready to help your hunger needs?

Chinese Food
Because it makes you sleepy, silly.

And of course...

Actual Breakfast Food
You are lying if you say you've never once woken up after a late night and went out to get pancakes, eggs and bacon. Me? I hate breakfast food. I'll go with you, but I'll opt for a burger. But just because I've never sat well with such foods doesn't mean we can ignore the fact that everyone seems to love the stuff. Goodness, the obsession you people have with syrup and butter. Always have to try and keep it local, but if you happen to be near a Perkins or Eat 'N Park, at least you'll be able to look at those attractive pies while you wait for your meal. And if you can't go to any of those, word is these things seem to generate some serious excitement within you breakfast food-eating-people bunch...

...For The Ride Home: Love Ms. Williams' response to her recent unfortunate incident, a Temptation dies and food critic pays with food stamps

Can't get this song out of my head. There was a time in my life that "Odyssey No. 5" from Powderfinger was easily one of the three best records I had ever heard in the history of forever. Still might be, actually. If not, you can't go lower than 10. Front to back, it is one of the rare "complete" albums ever made, if you know what I mean. Can't imagine there's anyone out there who knows who these guys are, or gives any type of a poop about them, but if there is, let's run away and get married right now. Bumped into one of their crew members not too long ago in a bar (yes, he was Australian, which proved he wasn't lying, duh), and it made my month/decade. Unfortunately, he had nothing but horror stories about the guys in the band, and called the lead singer a name not fit to print on such a blog as this. Numerous times, actually. Still can't ruin that record, though. Never. Anyways, we are back! That was said with excitement, which was why an exclamation point was used. Week 10 and we are still kicking. Got way too sunburned over the weekend and even suffered from a bit of poisoning, I have now concluded. More on that tomorrow, though. June is here, so that means summer must be right around the corner (that is, if you don't already feel summer-y). We sincerely hope that each one of you had a fantastic holiday weekend, and we also sincerely hope that you find yourself back here, ready and eager to click on some neat links. Because if you happen to not be, well, then you probably aren't reading this particular post, and that's heartbreaking. Be good, and remember: This holiday means tomorrow is the official middle of the week. How quick that went.

See, this is funny. Have to root for Ms. Paramore now. Have to. (Twitter)

Which do you think Sidney Crosby would rather have? The opportunity to still be playing this season (Stanley Cup finals), or signing on to become the richest man on ice since Scott Hamilton? Either way, he’s about to experience one of those things, and we bet you can guess which one it is. (The Hockey News)

A look at the life of an unemployed restaurant critic. Ironic: He is now forced to use food stamps. (Seattle Times)

When you’re old and decrepit like us, the occasional story about a college newspaper makes you remember being young and interesting. University fires adviser. Staff keeps him aboard. Great stuff. (Sun Sentinel)

Ali-Ole Woodson, a member of the Temptations, died Sunday. Sure, he wasn’t an original member, but hey, they Temptations are the Temptations. (Contact Music)

Avril Lavigne’s boyfriend saved her life, consequently making things less complicated. In related news. Sum 41 will be appearing on the Pacific Sun/Hot Topic stage three miles from the Warped Tour parking lot closest to you. (ShowbizSpy)

Celebrity Rehab can’t find enough celebrities to go to rehab. Honestly? That’s like going to an Arena Football League game and not being able to find enough players to sit the bench in the NFL. Work harder, VH1. (TMZ)

Dennis Hopper died. And now it gets ugly. (San Jose Mercury News)

Signs of Summer: Family-Owned Ice Cream Stands

Despite the agonizing fact that the official start date of summer isn’t until June 23, we’ve already had a few waves of summer-like weather in my neck of the woods. Its days like these that energize and invigorate the lion’s share of us who live in areas with over 225 days a year of “gray” weather, and these nice days deserve their due.

With that said, every Tuesday and Thursday until the official start of summer we’ll bring you an ode to the signs of summer, one marvelous item at a time. And PS - we would love it if you would pepper in your thoughts as well.

Today we pay homage to family-owned ice cream stands.

If you don’t enjoy ice cream in the summer, my bet is that you may be a member of a terrorist organization… Ok, maybe that’s a little extreme, but seriously, ice cream is the best. And part of what makes it the best for me is the fact that aside from that mediocre stuff you can get in the freezer section at your local wholesale grocer, ice cream stands are only around for a few months out of every year.

Now I realize that most Dairy Queens, Baskin Robbins (who?), Coldstone Creameries and Bruster’s are open year-round, but they just don’t have the same feel as the mom and pop ice cream shops that turn up in late April/early May. I really get the feeling that these folks care about the product they’re peddling a little bit more than the big boys. And that feeling makes my tasty treat taste so much better.

How about the generic replacement names these guys come up with for Blizzards? Arctic Swirls, Arctic Blasts, Twisters, Mix-Ins… all awesome and all just within the parameters to avoid a copyright infringement. That’s America, man.

My top 5 “Arctic Swirl” flavors in no particular order:

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
Thin Mint
Coffee w/ fudge brownie bits (you have to ask for this one, it’s not on the board)
Butterfinger
Heath Bar

New flavor suggestions would be appreciated - I get into a rut where I’ll order the same five flavors over and over again; although I did try a Birthday Bash Arctic Swirl the other night and my-oh-my was it delish.

Now who’s hungry?

Come back for the Ride at 4 p.m. guys and gals. Hearts.





















(The Internet loves kitty pictures, right?)

Signs of Summer: Get out the grill

Despite the agonizing fact that the official start date of summer isn’t until June 23, we’ve already had a few waves of summer-like weather in my neck of the woods. It’s days like these that energize and invigorate the lion’s share of us who live in areas with over 225 days a year of “gray” weather a year, and these days deserve their due.

With that said, here is a recurring list of odes to the signs of summer, one marvelous item at a time. And PS - we would love it if you would pepper in your thoughts as well.

Today we pay homage to cooking on the grill.

In terms of flavor, ease of cleanup and looking totally bad-ass, is there anything better than cooking out on the grill? I would argue no way. My preference is propane and a cooking rack that is cleaned only sparingly (don’t judge me - I feel it adds to the meal). Sorry charcoal purists, while I admire you greatly, the briquettes are just too hit or miss for me, although the flavors and aromas are to die for. All food must be mixed and prepared by hand to ensure that the love of the act is transferred from my heart, through my fingers to whatever delicious protein is on the menu that day.

Speaking of protein, my top 5 grilling foods: 1) A unique hamburger I found on allrecipes.com called “Good Burger,” which I modified slightly to fit my tastes. Unusual ingredients include brown sugar and Cajun spice. Out of this world. 2) Porterhouse steak with a simple olive oil, Worcestershire and garlic marinade. 3) All beef hot dogs. Classic. 4) Honey mustard chicken with a homemade honey mustard glaze/sauce - yellow mustard, honey, mayo and steak sauce. 5) Fatty, delicious sweet sausage.

And the deluge of side dishes to compliment the grilled delicacies are awesome as well. Pasta, potato and macaroni salads are top of mind, but don’t forget about the grilled zucchini, cucumber salad, baked potatoes and cole slaw.

Salivating profusely right now.

And one final question for you: In what other activity can a man justifiably hold his head high while wearing apron?

Come on back for the Ride at 4 p.m. ya’ll… and then go get grillin’.

Pizza. Pizza.

I moved this weekend. Spending all of Saturday picking up couches, chairs, desks and beds did much more than tone my muscles and leave me sore throughout all of Sunday (especially considering I decided to go for my daily three-mile jog earlier in the day. How stupid can I be?) Being incredibly tired and worn down after a hot Saturday afternoon/evening that I found myself covered in sweat and dirt, what was the best way to celebrate? A bottle of wine, pizza and chicken wings, of course.

Though the pizza came from a local shop that happens to be the best in town, simply chowing down on a couple pieces made me begin to ponder the following: Who makes the best fast-food, chain-style pizza? The question forced me into ordering from Dominoes Sunday evening just to get that brand new taste back into my mouth one more time before this post was written.

Why? That's because there are really only four major contenders in this discussion. And those are, in no particular order: Dominoes, Pizza Hut, Papa Johns and (taking it way back) Lil Caesars (also, as a side, if they would still let adults into Chuckie Cheese, that pizza would have to be up for consideration, as well. Haven't had it in decades but man, memories of their pies are filled with fabulous-ness).

The verdict? Still don't know. Which is why we present you, the fantastically pretty reader, with the matter at hand. To help, we decided to break down each candidate for you. Please note that none of these are considered with either chicken wings or breadsticks (because let's be honest, if breadsticks were added into the point system, Pizza Hut would run away with the gold). So much pizza. So many decisions....

Pizza Hut

Only take the Personal Pan, well, er, personally. But that's only because it's hard to really find a pizza of theirs that's any good. The Natural was the best, but even that didn't last long, and, for that matter, wasn't worth writing home about. Why even consider Pizza Hut then? Well that's because they quite possibly offer the best cold pizza. Let that stuff sit for a few hours and what you have is the best late-night snack any fast-food lover could stumble across. Plus, they have an iPhone app, silly. How neat is that?



Dominoes

The new crust is probably the best quick crust in the business (and by the business, I mean the industry, of course). That garlic-y taste is super tasty, especially when you consider the cardboard it replaced. Being someone who doesn't much care for the entire notion of cheese, though, sometimes Dominoes offers up a bit too much of the topping, even when you ask for a simple "plain" pizza. Saving grace? The jalapeno the potheads working behind the counter now give away with each pie. Because hot juice never hurts, that takes a C-grade to a B-, if nothing else.

Papa Johns

Last had a pizza from this outlet after spending an entire day drunk on Miami Beach. Thoughts? Utterly underwhelming. And that, friends, was a complete disappointment. Up to that point, my head was filled with lovely Papa Johns memories, loving the crust and thinking they had just the right amount of ingredients throughout. Instead, I felt as though I was eating paper. And I was drunk. And I was in Miami. Had that sitting on a tee, ready to smash out of the park, and they still botched it. Probably the worst of the group, for my money, at least.

Lil Caesars

Ever go to one of those Lil Caesars stores that seem to be stuck in some chain of another store (i.e., K-Mart, etc.)? Then, have you ever tried a slice that has been sitting for hours upon hours? And finally, have you ever walked away more pleasantly surprised after eating what you thought would be an awful piece of pizza? Exactly. The underdog, Lil Caesars is a chain you can never count out. Now (and why other chains haven't been smart enough to figure this out is beyond me), they have drive-thru service that allows you go drive up to the window, order the pizza on the spot, and have them give you the pie right there, within a matter of two minutes. I mean, goodness. It takes longer to make an Angus burger. Still not sold? Fine, but you don't have a soul if you aren't smiling when you think of these commercials and the little dude that creeps his way into the shot during the end...