...For The Ride Home: Gus Johnson on Madden, CNN isn't nearly as bad as people think and Bradley Cooper gets an action figure

We end week eight with Paramore's "Misery Business" only because it just can't get out of the head after coming on during a workout yesterday. Plus, it's a nice little in-your-face ditty that should help you start your weekend out correctly. Besides, next weekend, you'll be fooled into going to cookouts, or camping with friends you don't really like all that much, so enjoy the weekend-before-the-holiday the best you can. Moving forward, we saw record numbers this week! Notice the exclamation point. Our undying thanks is echoed to each and every one of you wonderfully intelligent readers who have come across our silly blog, left a comment, or even just clicked to see that crazy-good Tom Petty video from last week's "Saturday Night Live." We hope to see it continue next week, when we plan on unveiling a treat for all of you friendly people. Until then, though, click on a few links, try to see "Solitary Man" if you happen to be around a theater that carries it this weekend and enjoy the greatness May can bring (sometimes). Be good, and as always, love you, miss you.

“Come hear our pastor. He’s not very good, but he’s short.” Had to link this. (CNN)

Great Friday news: Gus Johnson will be doing play-by-play for the next Madden video game. In honor of such awesomeradical news, have fun with this. (Kotaku)

Hey, CNN has been doing great! 2009 was the network’s most profitable year ever. (National Journal)

Metallica is going to tour. Opening acts? Slayer, Megadeath and Antrhax. Those dudes on VH1 Classic who host that public access show rejoice. (Spin)

Tried telling you this weeks ago, but no one wanted to listen. Matt Barnes is cheating on his fiancé. “Basketball Wives” ratings consequently go up. (Media Take Out)

Brett Favre said that if the Southern Mississippi baseball team makes it to the College World Series final, he will play another season in the NFL. Rachael Nichols prays for an upset. (ESPN)

“Lost” will end Sunday. These guys think they know how it’s going to end. (MSNBC)

Bradley Cooper is going to get his own action figure. “The Hangover” really wasn’t as funny as you thought it was going to be, right? (Showbiz Spy)