With the NFL Draft starting tonight, NBA and NHL Playoffs in full swing, golf picking back up and Major league baseball getting underway, this seemed like a pretty relevant topic: Is there anything worse than listening to stupid people trying to talk sports?
You can usually pick them out after just one comment – and as I see it, there are two main annoying types:
Type A is the “way too vague” sports observer. This is the person who will chirp in on a conversation between two average sports enthusiasts with an indistinguishable comment about how he/she “can’t believe that player couldn’t make that one play in the beginning of the game,” or “how the team could possibly not trade that guy after this sex scandal.” This is also the person who may say something like “this sport is just so violent anymore I won’t let my kids watch it.”
The best, though, is when the person expends an outdated expression, makes an incorrect assumption or uses the wrong terminology for the sport being discussed. Examples include but are not limited to:
- Calling the baseball umpire the “referee”
- Making a comment about how the Steelers Tight End has such a nice butt
- Calling a penalty in hockey a “foul”
- Using one of the many worn-out exclamations from SportsCenter (Boom-Shack-A-Lacka)
- Mispronouncing a player’s name over and over and over…
- Referring to the first quarter of a football game as the first “period”
Type B is the sports enthusiast who is waaaaaaaaaay too specific and into it. He is the guy or gal who wants you to be aware that he/she didn’t JUST watch the game – he/she read the box scores, analyzed the coverage, called in to the local sports radio shows, wrote a blog about it (hehe), voted in the ESPN SportsNation Poll and then vehemently argues minute details for the rest of the night on Internet message boards.
This is the person who wears a different jersey every day of the month and makes claims such as these:
- “If I was the coach/general manager/owner I would totally (insert way too specific sports jargon)”
- “I could totally be a sports broadcaster”
- “I played in high school, so I totally understand what this guy is saying”
How annoying, right?
And scene. Come back for The Ride in a little bit - we miss you when you’re not here.