Double Feature: The A-Team & The Karate Kid

Each Friday, we will offer up two movies that are scheduled to be released within the accompanying weekend. We know, we know. It’s hard to come across blogs who ever actually get movie talk right. That’s why we won’t say much. A trailer. A paragraph. And boom – all you need to know about what new movies you can take your beautiful object of affection to see this weekend. It's like going to the drive-in movie theater. Remember those? So much fun. Thank us later, not now.

The A-Team

"A frenetic mildly entertaining action flick whose only distinction from other frenetic, mildly entertaining action flicks is that this one is called The A-Team." That comes directly from Rotten Tomatoes, your one-stop-shop for all things film. I like Liam Neeson. A lot actually. Even enjoy Bradley Cooper enough. And after "Valentine's Day," I have steadily grown a crush on Jessica Biel (though here she kind of jabs at what it's like to kiss Bradley Cooper, which isn't all that nice). But, come on. No way am I interested in this. I will spare the "can't we get over this whole action movie thing" speech this week, and concede that it is, in fact, summer, and these types of movies are really the only types of movies that come out around this time of year. But the A-Team? Can we please, please, please, please see something - just anything - original. What's next? A Transformers movie? Maybe a G.I. Joe flick? Oh wait...



The Karate Kid

Remember this? God, if you don't get wound up once Will Smith starts clapping in the middle of the sidewalk, check for a pulse. Really, really, really hard to believe that kid is all growed up. Even harder to think his dad would let him partake in this, yet another remake in the summer of remakes that really doesn't need to be touched ever again. It seems as though this isn't getting killed by the people who know way more about movies than I ever will, and it should be noted that Jaden Smith will forever get a pass from me because of the aforementioned roll he played in one of his father's best movies (along with the fact that "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air" may just be one of the best television shows...oh...ever), but out of all the 1980s movies/conecpts to recreate, this ranks just under, well, The A-Team. Sure, the reviews might not be crushing it as much as I had anticipated, but the one constant in every scribe's opinion is that this movie lacks depth. That alone turns this particular movie-watcher away from the theater, but to those who still may be considering it, just remember the last movie Jackie Chan was in: "The Spy Next Door." Yep. Our thoughts exactly.