As evidenced in yesterday’s Ride, I saw “Inception.” It’s rare that I get to write about a movie after I’ve actually seen it (hehe), but to be as short as possible, it was exactly what I thought it would be, and that’s OK. I was the best “I don’t really like this” movie I’ll see all summer. Why? It’s pretentious. But we all know that, right? That’s what Chris Nolan does, and he’s become a very rich man by doing so. It pretended like it wanted to be smart, but it didn’t quite get there, and once it bubbles up to suggest there is a possibility of it becoming consistently clever and intelligent, more things get blown up, and more people walk sideways on walls.
But I digress. I admit that I probably wouldn’t have seen it if any of the big three weren’t in it. For some reason, even after the grossly predictable “Shutter Island,” I trust Leo enough to think his movies are worth going to see. Ellen Page is an absolute doll and will forever hold my heart in her hand after “Juno.” And Joseph Gordon-Levitt is absolutely impossible not to root for after “(500) Days Of Summer” and that fabulous night hosting “Saturday Night Live.”
Seeing the latter two on screen together, I began thinking of how wonderfully fantastic it would be if Mr. Gordon-Levitt and Ms. Page started dating. It would literally be the dream couple for pseudo hipsters that most anyone with a heart could never be against. She’s adorable and he’s bringing back the vest-over-tie look that this world seems to need now more than ever. It’s a match made in heaven. Really. It is.
That said, I began thinking about who I would mix and match in the world o’ movies had I the opportunity to do such a thing. Who are my favorite people to see on the silver screen, and more importantly, who do they seem like they would gel with best. Yes, these are the things that go through my head after watching a movie based around the intricacies of how dreams can work.
So I thought I’d share. Below is a list with a comment here and there. Yes, there are a few absences that I just couldn’t find partners for, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love them (I’m looking at you, Vera Farmiga, Jason Bateman, Rashida Jones and Drew Barrymore, to name a few). It should also be noted that I specifically left Carey Mulligan off the list simply because my heart couldn’t stand the thought of her ultimately not marrying me. Come on, now. A boy can dream.
In any case, without any further ado, below is a list to ponder. All suggestions are encouraged in the comments section and any and all disagreements are welcome. Be nice, though. I wouldn’t want Ms. Mulligan to stumble across this here blog to find you people trashing the things I say.
Julia Styles & Mark Ruffalo
She’s great in the “Bourne” movies, and he’s great, well, in everything. Yes, even in the awful “Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind.” There’s something about them both that seems to be sexy in a smart way, and that’s ultimately why this would work best. Plus, their movies suggest they both know how to dance. And a good couple always needs to gel correctly on the dance floor.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman & Laura Linney
Have you ever seen “Savages?” Have you ever seen that chemistry? My goodness. There’s way more there than simply the fact that they are both excellent actors. It’s the smart, middle-aged couple. And those kinds of couples are the best.
Matt Damon & Penelope Cruz
She’s a goddess. And he looks like he deserves a goddess. That’s all.
George Clooney & Sandra Bullock
They both come off as smarmy, sarcastic, intelligent people whenever giving speeches, interviews or anything of the like. And she needs a man. I mean a MAN. Clooney is the consummate man. I mean MAN. They can be the elder statesmen of A-listers.
John Krasinski & Amy Adams
Because in the right light, she kind of looks like Jenna Fischer. And the will they/won’t they Jim and Pam storyline on “The Office” will never be topped on television.
Mila Kunis & Ryan Reynolds
It’s like mini Matt Damon and Penelope Cruz. Just hotness everywhere.
Kirsten Dunst & Leonardo Dicaprio
Both of them just always look so damn pissed off and aggressive. Plus, he’ll always look like a boy, and she kind of seems like she would go for cute over hot at this point. I root for her, though. Reports say she’s a sad sap like me. What better way to happiness than to date the boy from “Titanic?”
Kevin Spacey & Amy Ryan
Brilliant actors. There will never, ever, ever be a better white trash woman than she was in “Gone Baby Gone.” And there will never be a better crazed shrink than he was in “Shrink.” Not so sure I would want to be in the same room they are in though. They’d be way too intimidating together.
Rachel McAdams & Kevin Connolly
Oh, how adorable would this be? On a scale of one to 10, it’s like somewhere between Care Bears and color "light blue."
Anna Kendrick & Michael Cera
Both young. Both smart. Both, I love. He was on the greatest television show I’ll ever see, and she was in one of the greatest movies I’ll ever see. Plus, this gives me the opportunity to embed this trailer…