Friday, July 2, 2010

Double Feature: The Twiligiht Saga: Eclipse & The Last Airbender

Each Friday, we will offer up two movies that are scheduled to be released within the accompanying weekend. We know, we know. It’s hard to come across blogs who ever actually get movie talk right. That’s why we won’t say much. A trailer. A paragraph. And boom – all you need to know about what new movies you can take your beautiful object of affection to see this weekend. It's like going to the drive-in movie theater. Remember those? So much fun. Thank us later, not now.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Wow, this is a bad week for this segment. All right. So two movies, and neither of which are actually released on Friday. This particular film hit theaters Wednesday. I've never read a page of these books, nor have I seen a second of any of these films. And yes, even when they inevitably hit USA or TNT, I will still not take the time to give any of this a shot. Why? Well, aside from the usual, typical ignorance that the people who refuse to give these movies a chance always behold, I'm simply too old. If I wanted to watch a movie about high school love, I'd watch "Superbad." Vampires kind of creep me out, anyways. So do werewolves. The other issue? I can't bring myself to root for any of these kids. Kristen Stewart has that annoying sad look on her face constantly. Come on, hunny. You're a star! Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriend seems too frat boy/kid-ish to take seriously. And the English dude was in "Remember Me." But hey, who am I? The movie made $71 million dollars in one night and is sure to make trillions more. The kids love it, and they, as we all know, are all right.

The Last Airbender

Hey, did you know Jesse McCartney was originally supposed to be in this? Remember him? Anyways, no one (and I mean no one) is giving this movie a good review. This was supposed to be a bit of a blockbuster, but splitting time on its opening weekend with the latest "Twilight" movie can only mean bad things for a movie that features the word "Avatar" at least 6,000 times throughout its wikipedia entry. Considering it's the Fourth of July weekend, it would be hard to imagine this having a good opening weekend (a weekend, which, by the way, began early for this movie as it was released on Thursday). But let's be honest, friends. Nobody not already struck by the vampire bug is going to the movie theater this weekend. Not that we like to root for things to fail around here, but how about we get a lackluster debut weekend so this film can be out of theaters by the time "Inception" opens. Now that sounds like a plan.

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