...For The Ride Home: A new candidate for Michael Scott, Jay-Z & Eminem kick off their stint tonight and hello, college football. How are you?

A montage of "Saved By The Bell" photos. For no reason. I'm just tired. Really tired, actually. I can't understand why. Something about today that feels lackadaisical. It's hot. Really hot. In fact, it hasn't really been this hot since June, which, on some level is good because that means I didn't have to suffer through the hotness all summer. But it's bad right now, because, well, it's that hot. That said, I can't complain too much about the hotness. Much prefer hot over cold. And as we all know, cold is on its way. Anyways, hello, hello. Welcome to Thursday, the second-to-last day of the week, a week I have simply been begging to be finished with. One more day and then we sing, dance, take our clothes off, drink, eat, smile, laugh, and enjoy the other fabulous things life can offer from time to time. Until we get there, though, we must offer a few links for you lovely readers to ponder. From the bottom of our bottom-est hearts, we here at The Unusual Suspects headquarters hope that you have a wonderful evening and that you have sured up some Labor Day weekend plans, in spite of a possible hurricane that may just ruin lives. Be well, friends.

The college football season officially begins tonight. Here’s a look at USC before they travel to face Hawaii this evening. Man, the Trojans had an awful off-season. (SB Nation)

The other big thing going on tonight? Jay-Z and Eminem kick off their very limited string of dates in Detroit. Here they are, by the numbers. (MTV)

Interesting find: Paywall subscribers are worth a quarter of print readers. (Paid Content)

New York Times executive editor slams the Wall Street Journal. Love media fights. (Vanity Fair)

Late on this, but it’s a big deal: Paste calls it quits. (Journal-Constitution)

T.I. got arrested on drug charges. My goodness. After this guy tries so hard to recuperate his imagine with that idiotic MTV show, this happens. Joke city. (Billboard)

Ahhh, yes. Today is 90210 day. (Time)

Harvey Keitel throws his name in the hat to replace Michael Scott on “The Office.” (Entertainment Weekly)